I suppose it is about time for me to give an update, but before all of those I would like to say…
I hope you have a better Christmas than us here in Norwich. Just in case you haven’t heard, we are now in tier 4 — basically in an ‘almost lockdown’ situation. I am not complaining about being on a lockdown (I think it is important to do this, and do this quick), but the fact that we have to do it here in Norwich, where I thought was safe was rather concerning…
Anyway… enough with that for now.
It’s been two months since I actually feel good about anything. And by anything, I mean anything. I did not feel good when I woke up in the morning. I did not feel good when I went to work. I did not feel good even when I was doing nothing. I was lucky that I had to go to work because that’s probably the only thing that gave me the routine and distract me from feeling like a total loser.
Then the second national lockdown happened.
I felt so bad because I wanted the lockdown to happen. I wanted us to do this extreme step to finish this off completely, but I also realised how much this affected a lot of people financially. People who were not on furlough… people who barely made it through the month with their full income — who could not afford being on furlough.
I just though the sooner this is over, the better it is for everyone.
And then the lockdown was lifted, and people went back being reckless…. I mean… seriously. We’ve been in this pandemic for almost a year, and we should have known by now that wearing mask is paramount, washing hands is supposed to be a second nature by now, and seriously… distance. DISTANCE. I wish people would just keep themselves away from me.
Walking back from work was so stressful as people were on the street in groups — big groups. Not wearing masks. And wouldn’t give way to other people even though they were blocking the pavement. A lot of the time I had to walk on the road to avoid these people, while at the same time trying not to get hit by a car.
If you think I was being over dramatic about this… well…
To be honest I was just trying to stay alive… long enough so that I have another chance to see my family in Indonesia. I haven’t seen them for two years now, and with the current situation I don’t think I would be able to see them anytime soon. I want to live long enough until then. Not too much to ask for.
So I have to say I am not surprised that we are now back on a tight restriction. I mean… whose fault is that?
The week before Christmas was a total Murphy.
It started with the porter left the pasta fridge door open the whole night, so I had to redo everything. No… not all went bad, but I still had to redo everything because… it is a part of food safety. All of us in hospitality always tried to be responsible and keep everyone safe — either from food poisoning, or from covid,
Since we are on the subject: I would like to ask you a favour. When this is over, and we can go out again safely, please support your local hospitality establishments. Your local pubs. Your local restaurants. The big chains had enough money to survive this, and they have switched to takeaways and deliveries during this pandemic, but local restaurants and pubs did not and could not. So… yeah… Please.
Trying to get the spirits up for Christmas was not easy either. A couple of days before Christmas, I received the news that my old friend and colleague, has died from an accident. That was a massive blow…
I was so sad, and I felt so guilty that I did not keep in touch. I did not offer help when he needed it. I did not ask if he was okay although I know he is alone here in the UK. I wish I had… and I felt that I have failed him as a friend. However, at the same time I was reminded about the messages I received on this blog…
Katey and Blue… I wish I was you. I wish I had your care and kindness, because your messages reminded me of how influential a simple ‘are you alright?’ was to me. I wish I had done the same to my friend, and I was too late now that he’s gone.
This 2020 was horrible in general, but this particular moment was the rock bottom. However it’s given me a lesson that I will remember for a lifetime.
Christmas day however, was slightly different. My husband who has been the 21st century’s Ebenezer Scrooge since the day I met him actually gave his best effort to decorate our lounge so that I can have Christmas. He’s become the best kitchen porter of the day, and let me make a vaguely elaborate Christmas dinner for two…
He got me the PC game I wanted for awhile, complete with the controller to play it with. He even sat down with me watching Phantom on telly… without making fun of musicals. AND he did not tease me when I cried watching Coco.
For once I felt that things actually can turn for the better.
I do feel better. Not by much, but this is a start.
I said it at the beginning of this post, but I shall say it again.
I wish you all a happy Christmas. I hope your Christmas was as magical as mine. I will see you again soon 🙂
Lots of love